Pain
by touchnotthecat
Summary: She couldn’t stand it any more, she had to leave. She couldn’t bear to see Sirius in such a state. She loved him to much. How could they even think that Sirius could sell out James and Lily?
1. One

Chapter One:

She couldn't stand it any more, she had to leave. She couldn't bear to see Sirius in such a state. She loved him to much. It was ludicrous! Absolutely ludicrous! How could they even think that Sirius could sell out James and Lily?

As she got out the courtroom the screams of Sirius left her ears. Tears filled her eyes, it had all happened so fast, everything had changed, so quickly and yet so……so……slowly. That was the only way she could describe it.

* * *

"You have had enough to drink."

"And I disagree."

"Disagree all you want, I am right."

"Oh she has got you there, Sirius." James smiled on warmly.

James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Rowena Hopkirk all sat in the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmede laughing.

"Now look, I know my limits and I reached them haven't!" He stopped talking and looked confused as he thought over what he had just said.

The others all laughed warmly. James and Sirius both succeeded wonderfully at getting plastered. Lily supported James up the road and a few feet back Sirius was leaning heavily on Rowena's shoulder.

James was signing a heart warming rendition of Speed Bonny Boat.

"You know I think James could be a singer." Sirius said walking as if each foot weighted a ton.

"Maybe." Rowena said chuckling.

Sirius stopped walking abruptly.

"Now Sirius, this may be a bit tricky for your incapacitated mind to understand but if you don't walk we will never reach the dormitory." She looked into his face but her smile faded as she looked at his face. It was the most serious she had ever seen it.

"You know, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

"Now I know for a fact that you are drunk! Come on." She pulled his arm but he didn't move.

"I mean it."

"Sirius, lets go." She looked him in the eye.

"You really don't know how gorgeous you are do you?" He furrowed his brow.

"Unlike some of us, not everyone have huge heads. Come on!"

"No wait…." Sirius had never sounded so serious.

Rowena looked back at him; he leaned towards her as if to kiss her…but…

"You two coming?" James screamed down the road. The two shot away from each other.

"James, you idiot." They could hear Lily shriek at him.

The two smiled and started up the road again.

* * *

"NO! IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE!" Sirius's screams echoed in the cold stone hallway. Her hands flew over her ears. The tears fell from her eyes to the ground.

'_Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine.' _It was the only thing that she could think as the blood pounded in her ears.

* * *

The group lay beside the lake. It was the last day of school. Tomorrow they would be adults. Thrust into responsibilities and grown up things.

They were all lying on their backs staring at the blue sky, not a cloud to be seen.

Lily came striding down the lawns towards them. James Jumped up and ran over to meet her.

Rowena sat up and nudged Sirius in the ribs. He sat up beside her, so did Remus.

They were to far away to hear what James and Lily were saying, but when James went down on one knee they didn't need subtitles.

"Oh my god!" Rowena's hands flew to her mouth.

"No way!" Sirius was smiling from ear to ear.

"Well." Remus was smiling as well.

All of a sudden James stood up and Lily grabbed him around the neck and he twirled her around.

"Come on!" Rowena struggled to her feet and ran over to them, with Sirius and Remus in fast pursuit.

When they met with their other two best friends the girls embraced, ultimately ending up in tears of joy, the boy shook hands and embraced in a manly way. They walked back to were they were sitting and talked about the wedding and the ring.

Rowena smiling looked over at Sirius. He was smiling too. But instead of looking at his friend he was looking directly at her.


	2. Two

A/N: I would just like to say thank you to **_Naoko-san_** for being my first reviewer

Chapter Two

She was rocking back and forth on her heel when Remus came out of the court room. He was white as a sheet.

She quickly stood up and looked at him square in the face.

"What? What? Is he free? He has to be!" She could barely talk, her voice was nothing more than a horse whisper.

"He……he is going to Azkaban for life." Remus said looking Rowena in the eyes.

She stared at him. "No, that's impossible."

Remus embraced her, it was like hugging a board. "He did it Rowena, you can't deny it."

"No!" She started to struggle against his embrace but he wasn't about to let go. "No! No! No!"

"Accept that."

"You bastard! Let me go!" she was screaming now.

"No!"

"Let me go!" Rowena managed to wriggle her way out of his arms. She ran down the Hallway about seven feet and then collapsed. She grief had taken her body, she couldn't resist. "You're lying! You're lying! You're lying!" She couldn't control the shivering.

* * *

James paced nervously up and down the hallway. Sirius was standing against the wall and Rowena was sitting in a chair fumbling with a napkin she had found in the bottom of her purse. She had cleaned it out three times in the past hour.

"Maybe I should go in?" James said stopping in front of Sirius looking his friend directly in the eyes.

"I don't' think that is such a good idea James."

"Why not?"

"You may pass out."

"Good point." James continued to pace.

All of a sudden a healer emerged.

"You may all come in now."

James stopped dead and all the colour drained from his face, Sirius stopped leaning on the wall and Rowena stopped leaning on the wall.

"And…and…Lily is okay?" James was still white as a sheet.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, she is fine and so is your son." The Healer smiled warmly.

The colour instantly returned to James's face.

"Son? Son? I have a son?"

"Yes sir." Said the Healer.

"You hear that Sirius I have a son!" James ran into the room.

Rowena looked at Sirius. He took her hand and followed her through the door.

Never had Lily looked so beautiful. James was standing beside her and had a bundle in his arms. Rowena and Sirius stopped at the door. James looked up smiling from ear to ear.

"I have a son."

"So they gather." Lily smiled at her husband and then looked at her friends. Rowena went to her bedside.

"How are you?"

"Well, a little drowsy, but aside from that, I feel lighter then air."

"Well, I hope I feel like that after I give birth." To her surprise Sirius didn't say anything, she looked back at him. Ever since they had found out that Lily was pregnant Rowena and Lily would make jokes about 'when Rowena had children' usually followed by a 'Hold your horse' from Sirius, but it didn't come this time.

James looked up from the baby. "Come and say hello to your god-child."

Sirius and Rowena both looked from James to Lily.

Lily smiled. "We decided to name you two as his Godparents."

"Oh Lily." Rowena's eyes filled up with tears of joy.

The girls embraced and Rowena could distinctly hear Sirius sniffing.

She pulled back and went over to James and motioned for Sirius to join her. He stood behind her looking over her shoulder.

"What are you going to name him?" Rowena asked, as James handed her gingerly their little boy. He was the most Beautiful baby she had ever seen.

James looked at Lily and said "Harry."


	3. Three

Chapter Three

The door of the dungeon opened. Rowena stood up quickly. She looked back at the door, her shaking stopped, her crying stopped, everything seemed to stop.

Out the door came a dementor, Remus shrunk against the wall into a crumpled heap, but Rowena didn't care…then she heard it.

"No! Sirius, NO!"

She shook her head she couldn't be taken in by a dementor. She had to concentrate. Then she saw him.

Sirius walked out the Court room, he had shackles on his wrists and ankles, he shuffled along a broken man.

"Sirius…." She could barely talk. She reached out and her hand touched his cheek, his eyes meet his.

"Don't believe them Rowena!" He screamed.

She shook her head. "I don't Sirius. I don't." The Dementor's kept him moving. A hand grasped around her wrist.

"You have to protect Harry!" He screamed back at her.

"I will!" She said. She could feel her head shaking but couldn't understand why. Her eyes filled with tears. She started shaking again.

"I love you!" Sirius was then whisked out her life, whisked away by Dementor's to be locked up for the rest of his natural life.

* * *

Sirius and Rowena arrived back at their London flat, from St. Mungoes.

"So, Lily and James now very happy, very proud parents of a bouncing baby boy." He looked at her smiling.

"Yes, and a beautiful baby boy too."

"Yes."

Sirius and Rowena had moved in together two years ago. Now they were both twenty five years old and very much in love.

"Rowena," Sirius lowered his voice and moved towards her.

"Yes." She smiled up at him.

"I love you, and when I saw you with young Harry, I knew."

"I love you to, but what did you know?"

"I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." He knelt down.

Rowena's eyes widened, "Sirius what are you doing?"

"Rowena Hopkirk will you marry me?"

Rowena stared at Sirius, in the eye, not at the ring, but in his eyes. "Of course I will, I mean I do. I love you more then anything Sirius."

* * *

"I can't believe you two are getting married. It is like all our fantasies are coming true!" Lily gushed over a cup of tea. Rowena had come to help her around the house while James and Sirius were at the Order, the meetings were happening closer and closer together.

"I know! We plan to marry this Christmas." She smiled looking down to her left hand were her sapphire ring rested.

"I should think so, you have been engaged for ever!"

"You and James waited two years before you got married." Rowena replied looking at Lily.

"Yes but we were a lot younger." She smiled sweetly.

"You know, it's funny, we will sit up late in front of our fireplace and he will talk about when we have children."

"What do you mean?" Lily smiled at her best friend.

"What their names will be, how many boys and how many girls, how you and James will be the Godparents."

"Well, I should think so. Anyhow you need to get married fast and get on the baby train, or else the age difference will be to great and Harry won't want to be friends with them." Lily looked down at her son sleeping in his basinet. "He is my world you know."

"I can see that Lily." Rowena said smiling.

"And when you have ours they will be your world too."


	4. Four

Chapter Four:

"Sirius!" She screamed down the cold stone hallway.

"Shhh." The voice was soothing but firm. It belonged to the wrist that had pulled her hand from her love. "Calm down Rowena."

"No! No! Get off me!" She spun around and looked in the cool blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore. She stared at him her eyes filling with tears.

"You didn't do enough! You knew he was James's best friend. You knew he belonged to the order! Why didn't you stop this? Why?" She fell to her knees.

The old man knelt down beside her. "You must control yourself Rowena."

She looked at Dumbledore stunned, "Why? Why must I control my self? For whom? My life walked down that hall and to Azkaban with Sirius. You even took Harry! What am I to do."

"We all have lives to live, even when our most treasured loved ones are taken from us." He continued looking at her.

"Get away from me!" Rowena stood up and marched down the hall and out of the Ministry of Magic.

* * *

"Sirius!"

"Sirius, wake up!"

Rowena's eyes fluttered open. She and Sirius had fallen asleep on their coach after talking late into the night. All the candles had burned out and the fire was low. She could feel his arms around her waist, his forehead on the back of her neck. She sat up, Sirius didn't stir.

She looked in the fire and saw Dumbledore's face. "Rowena wake up Sirius!" She turned to her loved one and shook his shoulder. He instantly sat up and looked from Rowena to Dumbledore.

"What is it." Sirius asked.

"It is James and Lily, I fear they are in trouble. You must go to their house." Before Dumbledore could finish Sirius was up and putting on a muggle jacket Rowena got up and followed him to the door.

"I am coming to." Rowena said reaching for her coat. Sirius grabbed her hand.

"No!"

"They are my friends too!" She said looking him in the eye. James and Lily had gone into hiding weeks before with young Harry.

"I know, but if things get dangerous I couldn't bare anything happening to you."

"Alright." She reluctantly gave in. He kissed her and left their flat.

"What happened?" But Dumbledore's head was already gone. All she could do was wait.

* * *

Sirius came in two hours later, Rowena was still wide awake, it was two in the morning. She ran to greet him at the door but stopped when she saw his face. He looked at her mouthed a word she didn't catch and looked at the floor.

He was pale, very pale, his left hand was shaking and his eyes were bloodshot. He started walking toward Rowena.

"What happened?" She looked at him. He didn't say anything. "What happened Sirius?"

"I….I…" He stuttered.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" She screamed she had to know.

"It was gone."

"What was gone?"

"Everything." Sirius was on the other side of the room with his back to her. "They are dead, James….Lily….dead."

"No, that can't be…..that can't-

"It is!" He shouted, Sirius never shouted at Rowena.

"What about Harry? Why don't you have Harry?" She stared at his back.

"Hagrid was there, he said…"

"You let Hagrid take Harry! Our God child! How could you?"

He spun around and faced her. "Do you think I wanted to? He said he had orders from Dumbledore. I had no choice."

She slowly sank to the floor. She couldn't take it. James and Lily gone, Harry gone. What was she to do?

Sirius walked over to her and knelt beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear. "We will get him back. We will see Dumbledore and then go get Harry." She pulled away from Sirius looking him in the eye. Tears filled her eyes. He embraced and he held her like that for hours.


	5. Five

A/N: Okay up until this point it has been a bit confusing but now the flashbacks are separated with a line….hope you enjoy!

Chapter Five:

She sat in her cold little flat shaking. Always shaking, she hadn't stopped sine Sirius had been taken away. She looked over at her desk. The papers were everywhere as well as the books. She glanced at the door, she knew he was there, the man from the ministry, he was always there. No Dementors for her.

She walked over to her desk looking down at the parchment.

'_By law this…..'_

'_Section c…'_

'_By the right of Merlin….'_

None of it ever helped his case, nothing ever did……

* * *

Sirius was looking out the window of there flat and Rowena was sitting at their dinning table. Sirius had called in sick the past two weeks of work, he hadn't been able to face all the sympathy. For Rowena it wasn't as if Lily was gone, just not here, her Best friend couldn't be be! They had been friends since they meet that first day of first year on the train. Dead, after fifteen years of friendship.

"How could he do it?" Rowena said sitting up.

"What?" Sirius turned around.

"How could he know where James and Lily were?" She looked over at Sirius "weren't you their secret keeper?" The thoughts had never occurred to her as why or how until that moment, all her energy was focus on how to get Harry from his Aunt and Uncle.

Sirius looked down. "No, I told them that would be to obvious, I told them to use……" His voice trailed off and he looked up then at Rowena. Sirius made a charge for the door.

"Sirius, wait!" Rowena dashed up and ran into the hall after him grabbing him by the arm.

"It was Wormtail! He knew!" Sirius eyes filled with hate.

"What?" Rowena couldn't take it in fast enough.

"Let me go!"

"Sirius we have to go to Crouch." He ripped his arm from her grasp.

He looked back at her "It is too late for that now." He ran down the stairs.

"Sirius wait…" She ran into the street he was to far for her to catch up with.

"No, Sirius NO!"

* * *

That was what went through her mind when Dementor was near her, she should have stopped him. That was the one event that ruined her life. 


	6. Six

Chapter Six:

"So, about our new invention, I was thinking along the lines of-

"SHHH!" Ginny sprang off Ron's bed and listened at the door. She looked over at Harry and waved him over. Harry looked over at Ron, Ron shrugged and Harry went over and joined Ginny at the door.

Harry and the Weasley's were spending the summer at number 12 Grimmauld Place. Harry wasn't feeling very chatting, it may have been August he was still dealing with Sirius's death. He didn't want to go back to Grimmauld Place but he didn't really have a choice.

They could hear someone come in the house, walk up the stairs very far, come down and go in the kitchen.

Ginny looked at Harry, Harry looked back. He looked back at the room. Ron was sitting on his bed, with Fred and George. Then they heard Mrs. Weasleys voice. It was loud.

"I am going to check it out." Harry left the room and headed down the stairs. He stopped outside the kitchen and listened to Mrs. Weasley and Lupin.

"How could you bring her here?" Mrs. Weasley shouted.

"Shhh! Molly please, I know her we couldn't leave her alone. Not with what happened."

"Why not?"

"She was just released, where was she to go, I knew how she felt about Sirius, she might be suicidal." Harry took a breath when he heard his God father name mentioned.

"Does Harry know about her?"

"I don't think so."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

"You should."

"Well, how am I going to tell him? Oh Harry, here is your long lost-

"Harry!" Tonks came wandering down the stairs and waved at Harry, the voices in the kitchen abruptly came to a stop. Tonks smiled and went straight into the kitchen. "moly, Remus what were you chatting about?"

Harry ran up stairs and into his room. He told Ron, George, Fred and Ginny everything.

"Wow! That's heavy mate." Fred said.

"Who do you think she is?" Asked Ginny.

"I dunno." Harry said

"How do you think she knew Sirius?" Ron said looking at his friend nervously. When ever someone mention Sirius before Harry would usually up and leave the room.

"I dunno." He stayed this time.

"Are you going to ask?" Ginny went and sat down beside Harry.

"Nah. That's like admitting, 'Hey, Mrs. Weasley I was eavesdropping on you and Lupin about something I am pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear' I will just wait and see if they say anything about it."

"Defiantly sound safer." George said nodding his head, "Now back to our knew invention…."

* * *

Days went by and no one said anything to Harry, but he knew someone else was in the house. Mrs. Weasley would sneak upstairs when she thought no one was looking with meals. Lupin went up once or twice a week, and even Dumbledore went up once.

Harry decided if no one was going to tell him who this mystery woman was he was going to find out him self.

One day when Mrs. Weasley had to go out to get Groceries and everyone was out doing Order work Harry snuck upstairs. Ron was stationed at the bottom of the stairs and Ginny in the middle in case someone came home early.

Harry was outside the door looking at the door knob, He took a breath and turned it.


	7. Seven

Chapter Seven:

Harry walked into a bright room, the walls were white and so was the queen sized bed in the corner. There was a wardrobe and a dressing table both white.

The thing that caught Harry's eyes was quite a contrast to the room. It was a woman; she had long black hair and was wearing a long red dress. She was shivering. Harry could tell from the other side of the room.

"Ummm…I am sorry, I could…"

The woman spun around, her appearance shocked Harry so much he mouth fell open, she had the look that Harry had seen before, she looked like Sirius did after he escaped from Azkaban. Her face was gaunt and she just skin and bones. Her eyes were bright red from crying. She looked at Harry and her face softened.

She opened her mouth but nothing came out at first. "Harry…."

Harry stopped moving. "How do you know my name?" The question was stupid he was about to put his hand on his scar, but before he could the woman answered.

"Your eyes. I will never forget your eyes as long as I live. They were your mother eyes, otherwise you look the spitting image of your father." She smiled weakly.

"You knew my parents?" He took a step towards her.

"You don't know who I am?" Her smile vanished, Harry could recall her voice. He squinted at her.

"No." He looked at her hard.

"I am your….your God Mother. My name is Rowena." He stared at her his mouth open. She smiled weakly again. "I wish I looked better, I probably don't look much different from Sirius when you first saw him…" Her smile quickly faded, her hand went to her face. "Sirius….."

Harry moved toward her. Then stopped. What was he going to do?

"How did you know Sirius?" He stared at her.

She sat back on her bed. "They really didn't tell you anything did they?" She patted the bed beside her. Harry went and sat beside her.

"I….(she took a deep breath) I was your mother's best friend. I knew her all through school."

Harry looked at the wall he didn't know what to say.

"Sirius and I were to marry, when your parents were killed, everything stopped that night." She looked at the wall to.

"Why didn't you ever come and get me?" That was all he could say.

"We tried to many times. We went to Dumbledore all the time begging to have you, showing him your parents will which stated Sirius and I next guardians. He always said you had to go to your Aunts. After Sirius was arrested it was out of the question."

"Why?" Harry stood up. "You could have taken me!"

"I was placed under house arrest after Sirius was convicted." She stood up and went over to the window. "The ministry said that I was to close to Sirius to be beamed safe for society, although they couldn't compile enough evidence to put me I Azkaban I was placed under House Arrest."

Harry sat for a while. "Did you know when Sirius escaped?"

"No. I knew something had happened though, my guard doubled."

"You know he's…." Harry couldn't even finish the sentence, he looked at his hands.

"Fudge came to my same flat a few weeks ago. He told me I was free. I was so happy, all I could think was this is it. I can clear Sirius's name and we can come get you and live our lives once again." She took a wavering breath. "The he told me my name was cleared because Sirius was dead. I stopped breathing. I didn't care if a dementor did come into the room right at that second because Fudge had already ripped my soul out by telling me Sirius was dead. The next days were just a blur." Harry looked at the woman. She was crying. She looked up at him, "I am so glad you knew him. That is all I wanted, for you to know him. He loved you so much. He was a broken man when he came home from your house without you. We didn't know what to do."

Harry thought of Dumbledore. He could have given Harry to Sirius and Rowena, his chest burned with anger. He looked up at her.

"You know, the funny thing is I can't mourn him as a widow, because on the day we were supposed to marry he was arrested. We didn't plan to marry that day because of your parents death. Not until you were with us."

She walked along the room and stopped at the dresser. "I can still remember him running down that street to go find Pettigrew. I screamed after him, I couldn't follow though, I should have. But all I could think was 'Sirius kill him.' He deserved to die."

"Did you see Sirius's trial?" Harry had to know.

She looked over at Harry. Tears started to fall down her cheek. She nodded solemnly.

"It was a travesty. All Crouch wanted was to bag another Deatheater." She looked at the ceiling.

"I saw him, I met him. Crouch. He died." Harry looked at her, she looked back at him.

"Good." That was all she could say.


	8. Eight

A/N: Okay, I may look like I reviewed my own story, but my friend logged into user and review my story, honest to goodness truth. Anywho this is a really long chapter so enjoy!

Chapter Eight

She stared snidely at Dumbledore as he sat at the edge of her bed.

"Ah, so Dumbledore, have you come to tell me I am being put under arrest again, or maybe I will get custody of Harry, ha! You wouldn't bring me such news." She started coughing. Rowena had contracted a cough after her talk with Harry. No one knew yet that Harry had met Rowena.

"I am here to ask a favor from a friend." Dumbledore said quietly.

"A friend? A friend? Where was your friendship when Sirius was imprisoned? Where were you when Harry was given to his Aunt? Oh I forgot, it was you that gave that order."

"It was for Harry's safety." Dumbledore said "I care for Harry too."

At this Rowena flew out of her bed and walked over to were Dumbledore was standing until she was standing right in front of him. "Don't you ever say that. If you cared for Harry you would have placed him were his Father and Mother wanted him ho go. Not to Petunia! You would have worked to get Sirius out of Prison. Not just sat back and done nothing! Now he is dead, but oh yes you care for Harry." She turned and walked over to the window were the blinds were drawn.

"Say what you will, but I still care for Harry."

"Get OUT!" Rowena screamed at him.

* * *

Rowena sat in the middle of a cold small room. It was like Sirius's court room only much smaller. Crouch sat across from her with a few other old wizards, the minister of Magic and Dumbledore. Rowena herself sat in a hard wooden chair.

"You are here Rowena Hopkirk because you have been marked as a possible danger to society due to your relationship with one Sirius Black, currently imprisoned in Azkaban." Crouch's voice echoed through the room.

"Black." Rowena couldn't take her eyes off her hands, why she didn't know.

"Excuse me?" Crouch said, looking up from her file.

"My name is Rowena Black, I have been using since we became engaged." She looked up at Crouch.

"From what I see here in your file you never married." Crouch looked up from the file and at Rowena.

"We were to marry when Sirius was arrested when he is released we will wed."

"I assure you there is little chance of that." Crouch looked back down at the file again. "Now, Ms. Hopkirk, I see here you lived together, is this true?"

"Yes." Rowena wasn't about to lie. She loved Sirius and wasn't afraid to show it, especially to the man that toke him away from her.

"Have you ever met He Who Must Not Be Named?"

"Excuse me?" now it was Rowena's turn to be confused.

"Have you ever met He Who Must Not Be Named?"

"I most certainly have not!" She was stunned.

"You lived with a Deatheater, miss it isn't so unbelievable."

"I did not!" She was stunned at the comment.

"Sirius Black was prosecuted and found guilty. There is no question."

"Why did he not have the skull tattoo?" Rowena was not about to let Sirius be accused of such things without an argument.

"That is neither here nor there." Crouch was shuffling the papers more and more and the others on the committee were starting to whisper amongst themselves

"Oh, but Mr. Crouch, I think it has everything to do with everything, Sirius worked for the Order, why on earth would he then go over to He Who must not be named?" She looked to Dumbledore for support but he just stared back at her.

"Working for the Order was a cover. I think you are to close to the situation; I am placing you under House arrest-

"No!"

Crouch continued. "Until you have been deemed safe to reenter society."

"No!"

* * *

Harry heard shouting up stairs. He got up and started up the stairs.

"Harry were are you going?" Ron said bewildered still sitting in their room where they were playing wizard chess. Harry didn't hear him as he ran to his Godmother's room.

When he got there he saw Dumbledore standing near the door and his Godmother beside the window.

It was strange but like when he meet Sirius and learned the truth he felt and instant bond with her. He didn't care if Dumbledore was there he wasn't going to let him hurt her.

Harry marched into the room and stood in front of his Godmother. Dumbledore looked from Harry to Rowena.

"I see you have meet each other." He said in his normal voice.

"Yes, what a pity, your plan to keep Harry from knowing me has failed. I believe I asked you to leave?" Rowena's voice was snide, it surprised Harry.

"Very well then." Dumbledore left the room. Harry turned to Rowena.

"What was that about?" Harry asked as his Aunt sat on the edge of the bed.

"Dumbledore wanted something from me." She wasn't about to give any more information. Harry sat beside her.

"How did you meet my mum?"

Rowena smiled at the memory.

* * *

Rowena sat on a bench not listening to her mother as she keep saying how she would surely meet a whole bunch of new people that were really nice, don't be shy, remember you manners, yada yada yada.

She glanced around her at the other first years; they stuck out like sore thumbs. Stupid, stupid, egotistical, silly looking, jock. She read them all like books. Her new uniform fitted well and her black slightly wavy hair flowed around her elbows nicely. A large group of boys walked by talking and joking loudly. Now they caught her attention! Well large wasn't the right word, there were only four but they exuded this big feeling.

One was tall and had sandy hair that was chin length, he was pale and quiet looking, the boys referred to him as Remus. One was tall as Remus and had really dark hair that went well with is equally dark complexion, he was hot! The leader was obviously the one with the glasses. Her had wild black hair and really dark eyes. She noted he had a worn out snitch in his hand. Quidditch fanatic with a huge ego. She knew that first years weren't aloud on the team, she hoped his head could take the deflating. There was one boy at the back, he was slightly chubby and really short, he was obviously a poser, pathetic they way he tried to keep up with the other boys, he had colorless hair and watery eyes. She almost felt sorry for him_, almost_.

Then a girl who just stumbled through the gate way caught her eye.

"Look mum, I will be fine. I love you, but I have got to go." She gave her mum a kiss and hug and copied for her father and got on the train. As her parents wandered through the gateway she jumped off the train and headed over to the girl. She had long red hair pulled into a ponytail, and brilliant green eyes.

"Hey!" Rowena smiled brightly at the girl who almost jumped out of her skin.

"I just…." She pointed at the wall and looked at Rowena.

"Yeah, I know. You obviously aren't from a wizard family. Muggle born?"

"Pardon?" The girl just stared at Rowena.

"Never mind, you answered my question."

"I did?"

"Yes. My name is Rowena Hopkirk."

"Hello, I am Lily Evans."

"Come on, lets get on the train." The two girls made their way to the train and found an empty compartment. They started chatting about school and everything eleven year old girls could possible take about.

"I am not aloud to wear make up." Lily said blushing slightly.

"Oh that's okay with your complexion, but you see I have this splotchy thing going on."

"No you don't!"

"Sure I do!"

"Excuse me? But Is it okay if my friends and I can sit with you?" The boy Rowena had seen on the platform, who was called Remus poked his head in the door and looked at the girls with a pleading facial expression.

"Oh come on Remus, we are going to a school with lots of kids, you gotta be pushy!" And in stormed the boy with the wild black hair and brown eyes. "Hey, I am James Potter!"


	9. Nine

Chapter Nine

"My dad sounds like a jerk." Harry said flashbacks from his experience in Snape's mind quickly coming back to him.

"No, your dad was a pussy cat." Rowena nudged Harry with her shoulder. "He just had absolutely no idea how to act to becoming the most popular kid in school and he did quickly."

"I know how he feels." Harry gave a half smile.

"No, Harry you were already famous, and if someone had pulled you a side and said look you are going to be famous it wouldn't have been half as bad, your father was just popular."

"I don't see the difference." Harry looked at his feet.

"Come on, you know you want to kiss me!"

"You know Black, you have the biggest ego in the world and you are going to implode when your head deflates." Rowena gave him a snide smile and kept walking toward the front doors. Sirius for the second time stepped directly in front of her.

"Come on give us a kiss." Rowena had a idea.

"What is the point of arguing fate, do you really want a kiss?" Rowena mustered all her will and gave the idiot a sweet smile. He looked a bit stunned but smiled. "Close your eyes and pucker up." He did as she said. She quietly summoned a flubber worm from the Care of Magical Creatures pen and levitated him to Sirius's mouth level and ran into the school.

She sat down beside Lily panting hard.

"What?" Lily looked at her friend. Rowena looked at her friend and couldn't help but burst out laughing.

They sat in the Great Hall in their dress robes. It was the Christmas ball and they looked fabulous. Lily wore a green dress that was off the shoulder with sheer sleeves that clung beautifully to her arms, it had a fishtail skirt that complimented her perfect figure to no end. Rowena wore a purpley red dress that had one sleeve on the right side. It was tight fitting to the ground and at the back there was a slit that went to the back of her knees.

Sirius Black came ragging into the hall looking furious. Rowena smiled sweetly at him from across the room and gave her waved that she used for all the male Ravenclaw players on the quidditch pitch. Sirius started across the room.

"What have you done?" Lily looked at Rowena to Sirius. "I thought you had called a truce since I started dating James?"

Rowena smiled at the reaction of all the fourth year girls who fell Sirius. He was always the center of girls attention, all except Rowena. Especially when he came back for their fifth year absolutely ripped.

"The jerk gets the impression since you are my best friend and James is his we should date." Lily smiled at Rowena. "What?"

"You know you talk in your sleep about him." Rowena's hand flew to her mouth.

"I don't!"

"You do." Before Rowena could start ranting, James came over to their table.

"Hope I can interrupt you girls, but I was wondering if I could ask the love of my life for a dance?" He smiled.

"Of course James." Lily got up and took his arm. As they headed toward the dance floor Lily looked back at her friend and stuck her tongue out. Rowena stood up and stormed out of the hall in a sulk.

Rowena through her self in one of the comfy chairs in the Gryffindor common room, that for once was empty. Since this guy Voldemort had made him self known almost every student had stayed at school, all except the Slytherins that was. All of a sudden she heard the common room door open.

She looked at the door from her seat with the most morose look she could muster. Sirius walked in and she felt the look melt off.

"God, what a face!" Sirius burst into a fury of his loud laughter.

"Oh shut up!" Rowena looked at the fire.

"Hey! With what you just did to me, I deserve and apology." She looked at him. He did look amazing with his dress robes that were jet black hanging around him nicely.

"I think not." He walked over to her until he was standing at her feet.

"You are so hot when you are mad." He gave his half smile.

"Oh charming." She looked at him.

He feel forward but caught himself with his hands on the arms of her chair. She wasn't about to be intimidated, with this hormone crazy boy.

"Come on, I know you want to kiss me." His face was really close to hers now.

"Oh why not, I have been told I love you."

"Exactly." And before she could stop him he leaned forward and gave her a kiss. The kiss it's self was amazing. Perfection. A kiss for the record books! But she soon snapped out of it. She pushed him off the chair until he fell to the common room floor.

"I was being sarcastic you jerk!" She marched up to the girls dorm and slammed the door.

* * *

"He kissed you!"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

Rowena a stared at her friend Lily crossed her arms, took a deep breath and said "Amazing." In a grudging voice, Rowena could never lie to Lily. Lily burst out laughing.

"Oh shut up!" Lily had thrown the questions at her when Rowena finally came down to breakfast.

Sirius Black wandered over to the Gryffindor table and stopped until he was directly in front of Rowena. He gave a smile and said. "Hey lover."

"Oh shut up you. Didn't James call a meeting for the Gryffindor quidditch team?"

"Yeah but my beating skills are so honed I don't need to practice."

"Yeah you must be delirious from all the bluggers that have hit your head." Rowena got up and left the hall, stopped realizing she had no where to go and sat on the marble staircase.

Sirius left the great hall with a piece of toast in his mouth and wandered over to Rowena, he almost made it until his fourth year girls pose surrounded him. Rowena couldn't help but smile as he smiled politely and tried to wade through them, when Professor McGonagall yelled at them he got over to the staircase . He sat on the banister next to her. He smiled goofily down at her.

"I saw you managed to get through the pose."

He blushed! For the first time in five years of knowing him Rowena had never seen Sirius Black blush!

"I had hoped you hadn't seen."

"How could I not? You were the only one in the hall!"

"Anywho," He slide off the banister as Mr. Filch walked by and once he rounded the corner Sirius got back on the banister. "Why won't you go out with me?"

Rowena looked across the hall not really seeing the first years exiting the Great Hall. "I don't want to just be the perfect group." She looked at him and he rose an eyebrow obviously not getting her. "You know, me, you, James, and Lily. Practically school flag material."

"Ohh." He slide off the banister and sat beside. "Look, (He pulled her chin with his fore finger until she was looking at him) I like you for just you. Not to be the perfect group. I like you from the second I saw you." She knew he was telling her the truth. They learned closer until they were kissing once again. The perfect kiss.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" James came storming into the Entrance hall as Sirius flew away from Rowena. "WE NEED TO PRACTISE!"

"Didn't you know James, Sirius has perfect beating skills already?" Rowena said laughing as she and Sirius rose and headed upstairs.


	10. Ten

A/N: Thanks every one for the great reviews! I really appreciate it!

Chapter Ten:

Harry sat in the dark bedroom staring at his photo album. Ron was snoring lightly in the bed beside.

Harry couldn't stop looking at the picture on the seventh page. Sirius when he was in school with Rowena. Harry had seen the picture a million time but never thought about the girl in the picture. Sirius was in his school uniform with Rowena getting a piggy back. They were smiling and laughing, they we under the weeping willow on the edge of the lake, it was gone now. Sirius stumbled and they landed in a heap on the ground. Harry could tell they were laughing hard.

He put his head back until it was resting on his head board. He couldn't believe it. He was never going to see Sirius every again. He looked at the picture. They were in love. He could tell. The way they looked at each other. She was never going to see him every again. He looked at the door. If Dumbledore had given him to Sirius and Rowena, Sirius would have never almost killed Wormtail and he wouldn't be dead, they would have been a family. His life was filled with pain and torment because of Dumbledore. All because of him.

* * *

"Why don't we go to my house?"

"Because I want you to meet my folks." Lily dragged Rowena closer to front door of her home.

It was classic suburbia of London duplex. It looked cozy but……perfect.

"I thought your sister didn't like…ya know magic." She doesn't but my parents are dying to meet the girl I am moving in with this summer.

On the summer before seventh year Rowena and Lily had found a perfect apartment in Diagon Alley and decided to move in together. It was going to be perfect, Lily could get away from her sister and Rowena could get away from her smothering mother.

"Mum, Dad, this if Rowena Hopkirk, my best friend in the whole world." Rowena smiled shyly and waved at the two muggles.

Lily's father was tall and balding, he had bright red hair like Lily, he had a huge mustache and a bright face, her mother had long brown hair that was pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head. The welcomes were warm until Petunia came down the stairs.

"Oh, no! You aren't letting more freaks into the house are you?" Rowena looked the girl up and down. She was tall and gangly with a face like a horse.

For the most part the summer was great. Lily and Rowena stayed up late talking and trying on different muggle clothes that they had bought with Lily's mum. Petunia kept making snide remarks but Lily and Rowena always got their own back. Since they were sixteen years they could practice magic they would levitate things in Petunia's room. They didn't get in trouble from the Ministry because Lily's family were on the safe list. Safe meaning they could practice magic in from of they because they already knew of the existent of magic.

Lily and Rowena sat in the back yard with new bikinis on. Lily's was white and Rowena's was bright orange.

Petunia walked in the back yard, Lily and Rowena both sat up. Petunia was followed by a short obese boy who looked like he was trying to grow a mustache but in reality it just looked like he hadn't wiped his face after eating ice cream.

"Oh, to are really disgusting. Not only will you stay indoor's but you are practically naked!" Petunia's face shriveled as she looked at them. "Vernon don't look at them. Vernon!" Vernon had been staring at the two girls with his mouth open.

"Oh well, I guess you two wouldn't know how to behave in front of boys, like you could ever get boyfriends."

At that precise moment there were two small pops and Sirius Black and James Potter appearated in the back yard. Vernon screamed and dived behind Petunia. Petunia stood with her mouth open with a terror on her face. The boys had their backs to Petunia and Vernon and hadn't noticed.

"WOW! James do we know how to pick 'em or what?" Sirius pretended to stumble back before he leaned over and gave Rowena a very passionate kiss. James copied once the boys stepped back Lily shifted to the side a little to see Petunia, "You were saying?"

Petunia scowled and walked into the house closely followed with a shivering Vernon, Sirius and James spun around to see the two other teenagers walk into the house.

"Opps." James said.

"Don't worry, you can do magic in front of her, him we are not to sure about." Rowena said.

"Who Vernon? Oh he's fine mum and Dad sat him down and informed the Ministry about how he was close to the situation yada yada yada."

"By the way guys could you look better?" Both the boys were wearing lose jeans, Sirius was wearing a white tank top and a leather jacket, James was wearing a lose cashmere sweater. Lily beamed at him. "I didn't think you guys would show. I mean it is a muggle thing." The girls had been invited to a dance and instantly wanted to bring the boys. "Come on James, I want you to meet my parents." Lily grabbed James's hand and dragged him into the house.

Sirius flew onto the other lawn chair and smiled at Rowena. "You are so gorgeous."

"You have prefect sense of timing." She smiled at her boyfriend as her pretended to tan.

* * *

Rowena lay in her bed running the memory again in her head. She got up and looked out the window.

"Sirius come back to me…." Her eyes filled with tears.


	11. Eleven

A/N: Okay this one is short but it will get good.

Chapter Eleven:

Sirius was chained to a wall, bleeding, passed out. Only the chains around his wrists were keeping him up. Some one waved a wand and he started to scream again.

"Where is Potter?"

"I would rather die then tell you."

"Fine." The screams of Sirius fill the room.

Rowena sat bolt up right breathing hard. Sirius was alive. He had to be. That was why she saw him. She got out of her bed. It wasn't just a dream. It was real he was so close. She had to find to find him.

* * *

"Don't go. Please." Rowena's hands were on Sirius's cheeks her eyes were filling with tears.

"I have too. You know Dumbledore." He put his hand on her cheek and then moved it into her hair. "You have to stay and watch Lily."

"I would rather stay and watch you." She rested her head on his chest and he embraced her.

Sirius, James, and Remus had all been asked to go in to Northern Ireland were it was suspected Voldemort was hiding. She stepped back and went over to stand beside Lily.

"Why did we let them join the order again" Rowena put her head on Lily's shoulder.

"To give my baby a better future." Rowena took her head off her friends shoulder.

"Your kidding me! I want to sulk and you come out with something that should be in one of those muggle films." The girls started laughing as they watched their loves fly away.

* * *

Harry sat up in bed. He hadn't been able to sleep. Then he heard something in the hall. He got up and walked over to the door. Someone was going down stairs. His curiosity got the better of him. He opened the door and headed downstairs and saw Rowena with her hand on the door knob.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Sirius."

"He's…He's…." Harry still couldn't say it. Rowena turned to her godson. "You are going to leave me?" Harry had had enough, all the people he loved left his life, by force or death they all left.

"No. I am coming back. I will bring Sirius back." She turned around and left, just like that. She was gone. Harry ran out side. She was gone.

"Rowena!" He spun around. "Rowena!' She was gone.


	12. Twelve

A/N: I really can't believe the pouring in of reviews, thanks to every one.

Chapter Twelve:

Rowena appeared in front of the old Riddle house, she knew this was were he was. She started to approach the house and the door blasted off the hinges, she knew it was her emotion so she didn't stop.

There was a light on in the den.

Rowena walked into the room unquestioningly. She saw Bellatrix Lestrange, Peter Pettigrew standing beside a high back chair.

"Your security has gone done of late Voldemort." She was practically insane and she knew it, the stress of her life came down on her finally. Bellatrix lunged at her.

"How dare you call the dark lord by his name."

"Stop!" The voice came from behind the chair. Voldemort rose up and looked at Rowena. Rowena smiled at him. "Ah, Rowena Hopkirk, still thinking about Sirius Black I see although everything you have seen proves that he is dead. That is the thing that makes you weak, emotion." He paced over to her. Rowena wouldn't allow him the pleasure of seeing her fear. To be honest she didn't have anything to fear. What could he do? Take her life? She wasn't scared anymore. She knew Harry was safe with Molly, and Remus and the Order, he had done fine without her and he was strong and weary of Dumbledore. He would be fine.

"Do you think I would let you come here, really?" He smiled back at her. "I thought why kill him so simply? I can't believe that those stupid idiots that you call defense believed that Sirius Black could be killed by the Veil, although it has taken lesser wizards but not Black he was to strong, I just used it as a holding cell."

"Were is he?" Rowena wasn't going to back down.

"Oh he is here but you can't see him yet."


	13. Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen:

"No, you can't see him yet. Not just yet." Voldemort paced the room. Rowena looked at him furiously.

"Let him go!" She screamed, the chandelier on the ceiling shook dangerously.

"Temper, temper. You are like Sirius. Make a tiny threat and all of a sudden he gets all fierce." Voldemort stopped in front of the fire. "I want to know something. From you, and only you." Voldemort looked at her. "How was Harry?"

Rowena couldn't have been more startled by the question. She was caught off guard. "What…..what do you mean, how was Harry?" She didn't like this.

"Was he sad, angry? He had to be something. I had just taken his precious god father away from him."

"What?"

"Do you really think I care if a weakling like Sirius Black dies? HA! I wanted something darker……much darker."

Rowena was starting to understand what he was getting at. "You…..you…."

"I wanted what anyone would want in my position! I wanted Harry to suffer!" His voice rose unnaturally at the end of the sentence. "I wanted him to be alone, alone like I was. No one in the world, and I was quite surprised that you came, I mean It wasn't even hard to get you here."

"No!" It was little more then a whisper. "Harry!" Rowena spun around for the door but Bellatrix was blocking it. She turned back to Voldemort. She lifted her finger at him "James, Lily….."

"I will admit that that was not my original plan. When he survived, survived with no one. It was like seeing me, no mother no father, come to think of it his aunt and uncle probably tortured him far worse then I ever could." Voldemort smiled.

"You knew about Petunia….."

"Oh come now, of course I knew, I _am_ the Dark Lord! Give me some credit, you know credit were credit is due." He laughed. Rowena could have been stabbed in the back by Santa Claus and been less surprised, the Dark Lord Laughing. He was turning from some sick twisted killer to a bad guy from stories. It startled Rowena that she was terrified of this version like she had never been scared of the normal Voldemort!

"Harry is nothing like you!"

"Oh on the contrary, he is me! We share the same core," At this he lifted his wand. "No parents, no one. We are one. Only, no matter what happened, he hardly suffered! Not an ounce of pain! Is that fair? Well is it? I think not!"

He wasn't making any sense. This was the Dark Lord! Jealous of a boy's life! He continued before Rowena could formulate a plan.

"Then, Sirius escaped. Harry's beloved god father! They were close and that was when the thought hit me. Sirius is the key to the boy's pain! SO I took him, not to hard, couple of stumbles along the way," He shot a nasty look at Wormtail and the coward flinched. "But I got him, and just as I was about to finish him off, I get word you were realized! I mean that is horrid luck, I finally get Harry's last heart string and another pops up! So I got you and now the lovers shall die together in a fury of burned love!"


	14. Fourteen

A/N: I know it has been forever since I last updated but here is, enjoy…oh by the way I am strongly against spoiler so nothing from the sixth book will appear in this story. Enjoy

Chapter Fourteen

Rowena stood still. This was to strange, everything she knew, everything she was prepared for had slipped from under her feet. Voldemort was acting pathetically, not calculated and smooth as usually, no this was much more erratic, it unsettled her.

"Where is Sirius?" She had to know. Bellatrix laughed and Rowena spun around again.

"Sirius has been keeping Bellatrix amused for the past couple of months, the mans will to live is quite extraordinary, I must say, though it grudges me. Mind you what harm will come of telling you, you will soon meet you death."

Voldemort tapped the fireplace with his wand and it started to move. It swung around to reveal and graveyard, when Rowena concentrated on it more it was just a courtyard. It was misty with a few dead trees scattering through the stone ground, over the yard there was the back on the chimney. Hanging off the ground by about five feet, was Sirius Black.

Rowena froze, there he was. He was unconscious, and bleeding, he was wearing tattered black pants and no shirt revealing many scars and gashes that looked like he had been whipped. There was a huge gash down his cheek. He was surrounded by a strange green orb that must have been a huge orb. His feet were shackled together, and his arms were above his head chained to either side on the chimney making his head loll on his chest.

Rowena slowly moved through the room, past Voldemort into the courtyard. She stood looking up at the body of Sirius. All of a sudden an immense pain hit her in the back. She screamed, although she had experienced the pain many a time when battling Deatheaters, it never got less horrific.

When the pain subsided she looked up at the body of Sirius whose eyes had snapped open and were having trouble focusing but then he saw Rowena. They stared at each other for a while, then he said something but Rowena didn't here because the barrier was blocking out sound.

"What Sirius you want to be with your bride? So be it." With a swish of Voldemorts wand the barrier disappear and so did the shackles. Sirius fell into a heap on the ground, Rowena scrambled over to him and slowly lifted his head onto her lap.

"Rowena you have to get out." His voice was a horse whisper, as he slowly raised his hand to her cheek before it fell away weakly.

"No, no not without you, I can't leave you." Rowena said quietly her voice strangled with a mix of pain and emotion as her eyes quickly filled with tears.

"Harry…" Sirius's voice trailed away,

"He is safe." Rowena said quickly.

"How touching." The callous voice reached Rowena's ears and she looked over at the Dark Lord and Bellatrix standing side by side. "Shame it has to come to end so soon though." He flicked his wand again and the searing pain returned to Rowena she screamed and she could hear Sirius scream as well. Rowena collapsed beside Sirius. This wasn't happening, it can't end like this, not like this.

"Voldemort, no you want me, not Rowena." Sirius yelled, He straggled to his knees.

"Oh on the contraire, I want you both. Now right here to die, forever bonded in love." His smile was sickening. "I was always fascinated with love, it is pointless and walks hand in hand with weakness."

Sirius flattered and flew lying beside Rowena. Voldemort moved his wand and made Sirius turn over so he faced Rowena. The two stared at each other. This was it. Rowena mouthed 'I love you.' And Sirius did the same, they grasped each other hand and then, a green flash, their lives feel into darkness.

* * *

"We should go to bed, we have our O.W.L.'s tomorrow." Said Lily glancing at the grand clock in the Gryffindor common room. 

"Oh stop worrying would you love?" James said rolling on to his stomach mocking all his friends. They all lay out in the common room, it was late and no one else was in the room, Peter had gone home for Christmas and Lupin had gone to bed. Rowena, James, Lily, and Sirius were laying on there stomachs eating Berty Botts Every Flavoured Beans on Dares.

"Yeah Lily, live a little." Sirius had said.

"Yeah, Lil."

"I told you not to call me that Rowena!" Rowena knew that already.

They were all laughing happily speculating on what they wanted to be when they graduated. James and Sirius wanted to be Aurors, and there was little doubt that they would accomplish their goals. Lily wanted to be a pediatric Healer, and that fate was almost sealed for her. Rowena wanted to open a robes shop in Diagon alley, her passion had always been in designing clothes.

They were in front of the fire and Rowena knew this is it. This is what her life was going to be, Lily and James, Sirius and Rowena, together forever. Friends till the end.


End file.
